September 2011
27 posts
My Angry Protest Playlist
I listened to this driving to the School Board yesterday. Got me in the mood to fight the Man.
1. Public Enemy- Fight the Power
2. NWA- Straight Outta Compton
3. Ice Cube- Wrong N***a to Fuck Wit
4. MOP- Rugged Neva Smoove
5. Public Enemy- Shut Em Down (Pete Rock Remix)
6. Ice Cube- Get Off My Dick & Tell Yo Bitch To Come Here
7. Onyx- Slam
8. MOP- Instigator
9. Black Moon- Powerful...
Injustice
I can’t go into detail, but my new boss, who was great and wonderful in every way, lost her job tonight over some colossal political bullshit. She was thrown under the bus and discarded.
The public school system is seriously fucked because of politics and bullshit bureaucrats. I could literally rant for hundreds of pages on the number of ways the American public school system is a colossal...
MOVIE PITCH!
Came up with this one while reading all of the gay tweets. Instant box office smash.
ROB SCHNEIDER plays Steve. Steve is an average guy, average job, average wife, average life. One problem: HE’S A MASSIVE HOMOPHOBE! While on a vacation to Greece, he goes into a sacred bathhouse, mutters quietly “Boy, I’m glad I’m not gay,” then falls asleep…
… where...
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Tuxedoed Asians
Just saw an Asian guy in a tux look around and duck down an alleyway.
Everything in life has taught me that I should have followed him. But I didn’t. I went to a free screening of the new Joseph Gordon-Levitt movie instead.
Life is never boring if you’re an Asian guy in a tux.
DC Weekend O' Merriment
Friday:
Nats game, followed by karaoke at Recessions on L St NW near Dupont Circle
Saturday:
Contagion at the AMC, followed by the hysterical Hannibal Buress at Arlington Drafthouse
Sunday:
NFL all day at Buffalo Billiards in Dupont Circle— Twitter and Tumblr folk are encouraged to come get drunk and stuffed with sliders.
Is being drunk at 6 PM in a Target looking for pots for your plant on a Thursday the saddest thing you’ve ever heard?
OR THE COOLEST?!?!?!
(Probably the saddest.)
I Dream of Genie
Genie: CONGRATULATIONS YOUNG SQUIRE! You have rubbed my lamp and I am here to grant you three wishes! Whatever you want, and it shall be yours!
Me: I rubbed the lamp because I like to put my penis on lamps. I didn't know there was a genie inside. Here, have a handkerchief, I got some man chowder on your goatee.
Genie: Oh...um...err...thank you. NOW WHAT SHALL YOUR FIRST WISH BE?
Me: Happiness.
Genie: FUCKLULZ I'm a genie, not GOD!
Me: Ok, how about a rocket ship?
Genie: Done! Next?
Me: Gather Michele Bachmann, the Koch Brothers, Sarah Palin, Rick Perry, and Glenn Beck in a fishnet and bring them here.
Genie: Kinky! OK last wish!
Me: Throw that rocket ship into the fucking sun.
Michele Bachmann: This genie looks Jewish. Hey WHAT THE FUCK?!
Genie: OK, all done, pleasure to be of service!
Me: You lied.
Genie: Exsqueeze me?
Me: You granted me happiness just then.
Genie: Let's grab a beer.
Success.
An excerpt from my blog about teaching that I wanted to share, cuz I’m proud.
Finally, after school, I found out that a straight-to-DVD film hit stores (and the Internet) today. It’s a kiddie flick, ABC Family variety, but it has special interest for me, since a former student, Alex, is in it. He attends a prestigious acting conservatory in NYC now, but I can’t claim full...
I’ve tweeted a couple of things in the last few days that number among the stupidest jokes I’ve ever made.
Funny how sometimes your stupidest jokes are the ones that crack you up the most.