Just saw a little kid say to his male friend who was getting into the mother’s mini-van, “Ladies first!” My first impulse was to judge their immaturity. My second impulse was to remember how I pulled the same gag on my male friend a week ago. Boys never grow up. I’m so thankful to be one.
If Every Female Musician Looked Like Adele
Then people like Katy Perry would never have become popular. I wish what executives decided will become popular female music was less hinged on the cup size of the singer and more on the songwriting and the voice of the singer. For that reason, Adele could totally get it before any pop princess. Looks, to some degree, are a dime-a-dozen. True breakout talent is exceedingly rare and is pretty...
Without question, one of the funniest films of the last decade. If you don’t think so, you’re a jive-ass turkey.
Choosing A Contestant For Deal Or No Deal
Deal Or No Deal Producer: So who do we have this week? Deal Or No Deal Casting Agent: A sassy black woman. She’s middle-aged and proud. She’s big, but she’s not ashamed of her body. She’s single… and looking! She’s loud and extremely opinionated. She’s looking for a man who’s just like her dad. She has a puppy at home named Yippy that she loves...
Thoughts Watching LINGO On GSN
Since I’m hungover (I didn’t remember Tumbling last night), I’m eating a baguette and watching GSN. - The female co-host on LINGO annoys the piss out of me for no good reason. She reminds me of an attractive rich girl who’s never had to do anything ever in her life, so she talks with this air of superiority that really gets under my skin. - Chuck Woolery is obviously...
DRUNK GOOGLE+ CHAT TONIGHT
FYI. I dont know-how I’m getting home. But it’ll be hangout tiiiiiiime
My Beard's Green Mile
The beard is eating its last meal. It will receive no last-minute phone call from the governor. It will be gone, right before Happy Hour, or as I like to call it, Mourning Hour. I go back to work on Monday, and while I absolutely could keep the beard, I need to EARN the respect of these children. I can’t take a cheap shortcut, have an awesome Grizzly Adams beard, and cheat my way into...
rob-tombrady: Steven Amiri is a horrible person and you shouldn’t vote for him!!! Here’s proof why! He took my mother Mrs. Dorothy Longo to a nice seafood dinner, AND NEVER CALLED HER AGAIN.
On vacation, I really wanted to buy a Jackson Hole, Wyoming t-shirt. It was a purple tie-dye shirt with two wolves in soft focus nuzzling each other. I thought it was the funniest fucking shirt I’d ever seen. My brother and I were both going to buy one, and then wear them around Jackson Hole. Then, I realized that I couldn’t wear this shirt in the real world. I’m an adult. ...
My Tumblr Future
I’ll be Tumbling (Tumblng?) a lot less in the near future, because I’m going to write a detailed blog— or something— about this year as a teacher. The last two years were full of insane stories that I’ll never remember. I’m hoping this year, as I write every day, not only will I have new good stories and remember old good stories, but I’ll become a...