January 2012
30 posts
Health
One month in.
Eating habits changing.
More vegetables.
Fewer snacks.
Still trying to limit carbs— they’re my weakness.
Working out is less of a chore.
Only had beer twice in three weeks— and each time only one. (Okay, I also had a margarita. Honesty is important.)
My play I’ve directed is done after Thursday. My schedule will be clear. My focus will be...
Jen Is Cheating On Me!
When we started out together, it was perfect. Her desk was cleared, pencil sharpened. The teacher placed me on her desk. It was fated to be. I saw her from the middle of the stack and was hoping she’d be mine.
She rubbed her pencil along me. Even chewed on it first. Goddamn, what a sexy woman.
But then, I noticed she kept staring down into her lap. She was answering my questions after...
1 tag
TRISCUIT CAMPAIGN: WEEK 2
My quest to become the spokesman for Triscuits continues today, with timely Triscuit tweets and an endorsement from @ProSexTips, who said I could be the Old Spice Guy for snacks.
https://twitter.com/#!/FrankLongo/status/161477676656369664
https://twitter.com/#!/FrankLongo/status/161477408300601345
MAKE YOUR VOICES HEARD! DEMAND @FRANKLONGO AS THE NEXT SPOKESMAN FOR @THEREALTRISCUIT!
Chris Brown
Some kids in first period told me I should see Joyful Noise.
I told them I was avoiding it, because the commercials show them using a song by Chris Brown, well-known perpetrator of abuse against women and generally angry human being, as a positive gospel tune. I felt uncomfortable at the mixing of Jesus, who usually was seen not beating the shit out of women in the scriptures, and Chris Brown,...
Diet
Sigh. I have to do it.
I’m out of shape, guys. And I’m kind of tired of it.
Here are my resolutions:
1. Eat fruits and vegetables. Because I don’t. Ever. And they’re pretty important to health, I understand.
2. Beer: once a week, maximum. The gut is where most of my fat resides. This has to end. I’m pale. I shouldn’t be fat too.
3. Small meals, five...
Yesterday's Rehearsal
There’s a scene in which one character seduces another in the play I’m directing. The male character is a freshman in his first play, the female character is a junior, mature and seasoned in theater terms.
He’s sitting in a chair and she is manipulating him, and she gets down on her knees and rubs his thigh with both hands.
We do our first run with this blocking. She says her...
Dog Sitting
Essentially the best/worst idea ever.
Pro: Staying in this really nice house, way nicer than where I live.
Con: Farther from work, means waking up earlier.
Pro: Two golden retrievers, super energetic and fun.
Con: Two golden retrievers, who literally will never leave my side.
Pro: The dogs sleep in the massive bed with me, which is cute and wonderful.
Con: The dogs wake me up at 6 AM...
The Best Moment in Film History
In The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, Yetis appear to fight evil soldiers. One of the Yetis kicks a soldier over a building which has poles on either side of it.
Another Yeti watches this kick, looks at the kicker, and does the universal gesture for “the field goal is good.”
This is my pick for the greatest moment in film history, since it implies that Yetis huddle in a cave...
Podcasting
I have a podcast.
I had been doing one for awhile, but the host decided he wanted out… so now I’m the new host.
It’s called The Long and Late Movie Show. (For now. Title subject to change.)
It would mean the world to me if you followed us at our Tumblr account, where you can hear the test episode of our podcast, where we run down the Worst Films of 2011.
Thanks, friends....
The Best Offense: List 8 things (not people)... →
shariv67:
1. Hosted a variety show at The Greek Ampitheater in LA with Ned Beatty.
2. Temporarily lost 90% of my long-term memory.
3. Was a nanny for Bette Midler’s daughter.
4. Made out with Judd Apatow. (Ew. I know.)
5. Died (technically) for 3 minutes.
6. Was on a horrible reality TV show.
7. Met…
Shariv67, could you stop being awesome? I was going to brag about my Grammy...
you are probably the awesomest person to see this:... →
yzupp:
5 pairs of underwear. why do they call it a pair? only one vagina here.
socks. bras. deodorant.
3 shirts. 2 pants.
pills. toothbrush. hairbrush.
hat. scarf. cookie monster mittens.
coat.
wallet. EVERYTHING ELSE YOU NEED.
KEYS TO GET BACK INTO THE HOUSE IF YOU EVER COME HOME.
…
Dear yzupp: please write a book. I’d buy it.
TT
- I’m quitting my teaching job end of the year and moving to LA to pursue my dream of becoming a writer. It’s by far the scariest thing I’ve ever done. I keep looking for ways out and keep fighting off my cowardice. I have to sign my letter of resignation before the end of the month in order to let the school know I’m leaving with enough time to hire a good replacement for...
2012
Drunk is fun! I love you allllllll!
WatchBetter quality video of my mortar cannon happy 2012!!
WatchMORTAR CANNON 2012 FTW
